Adoption blog...

In an effort to compartmentalize things a bit better, I am moving our posts on adoption over to a new blog... 


4 kids spread all over, keeps me pretty busy, and now with the adoption process... well, you just never know when I will find time to post.  But On the Road To His Heart, that's the blog where you will find updatesand my journal on the journey to #5.

It was a good hug...

Another one of my favorite deleted posts from facebook: (Nov 2011)

"It was a good hug. He didn't want to let go." Happy tears today knowing a fb friend hugged my son, Ayal, for me today. I've never met this woman in person, but that means sooo much. She added, "I think because I told him it was from you, that made it better." L♥ving that! Miss him, so much!! What a blessing to be this sweet young man's Mom

Lessons...

The following is the first of several reposts from my facebook.  I am in the process of deleting most of my photos for privacy reasons.  More to come!

Things God is teaching me about orphans:

1) God ♥s them greatly, and wants to show them that ♥ through all of us.

2) They want to be loved, more than they want to eat, or have nice clothes or electronics... just ♥ them.

3) With a bit of ♥ and encouragement, they can be successful and reach their dreams. Encouragement is a powerful thing!

4) They are watching and listening, BE CAREFUL what you say. You may have plans or desires that include them, but keep it to yourself, until it is a done deal... disappointment is the antonym to #3.

5) They are people, just like you and me... and don't deserve, any more than you and I do, to be treated like 2nd class (or worse) citizens, just because they weren't blessed enough to have parents who lived.

6) They want to be viewed as individuals, not lumped into a group. One bad apple, doesn't mean the whole tree has gone bad!

7) Just a bit of your time and energy can change their world... AND YOURS!

I have not been good about blogging.

Time is so short,

and honestly,

with our Share Nights,

blogging seems redundant.

But, I love looking through

my trip photos, so, I might as well

share some with all of you!

The people of Ethiopia are beautiful.

I think growing up, I always just thought

of them as poor. You know, that whole

"Finish your food, there are starving

children in Ethiopia."

Financially, yes, they are poor, but what I have

 learned on these trips, is that they are anything

 but poor in the other areas of their lives.

They are rich in pride of their

culture, country, and heritage.

They are rich in their friendships.

They are rich in

their faith, customs

and traditions.

They are truly beautiful people.

Mostly caring little about the

trappings we get caught up in here.

These are photos from my visit

to Shashemne, Ethiopia

in March.

I visited the girl's dorm

 at a boarding school,

run by Project 61.

This is where

our oldest sponsor girl

(on the left) lives

 during the school year.

I had a conversation
 with her principal.

He asked if I was her mother.

"No", I responded.

"You're not?"

"No, I am just her sponsor."

"Oh," he laughed,

"well, then you are her mother."

I had no response,

so he continued.

"Without you,

she wouldn't be here,

with this chance to change her life."

"So all of us, even the children,

refer to all of you

as their foster mothers

and foster fathers."

Sponsorship changes lives...

brings smiles, hope for the future...

and fills in that last piece

these girls were missing...

a path towards independence

and a change

 to their circumstances.

This one is of Maskarem,

 and her best friend, who both spent

the weekend with us at our guest house.

I love these next 3 photos...

My boys love her,

and are very protective of her.

Ayal

and Emnatu, kind of like her big brothers.

What will Father's Day Look Like?

This morning, I am up early.  John has asked for pancakes for his Father's Day breakfast, so the cooking will begin soon.  As I sat in the quiet, I decided to look through some photos, and came across this one of John and the kids.

 

I can't help but wonder... What photo will we have next Father's Day?  Will there be a #5 we are blessed to call our own?  Sitting right there in the middle of all of that love?  There are still MANY hurdles in our way, and we are praying that God will show us His Will for our family very clearly through each of those hurdles. 

 We will need

Medical Clearance

from my doctor. 

~ He will have to say ((in his grumpy bedside manner)) that I am completely fit to become a parent again.  We are not sure of his answer, since he is a glass less than 1/2 full type of guy.  I parent Kyle and Kristelle just fine with this disease, but will he okay me to love another?

Answered!!! 6/23!  

Doctor was totally in favor of this! 

We will also have to pass the hurdle of  guardianship.

If I were to get pregnant tomorrow, no one would question me as to who would care for the child if John and I happened to die before he was grown.  Not the case with adoption.  We have to have a plan for this.  We are hearing that sometimes writing your retired parents down on this form doesn't suffice, but that's the only option we have.  That would be the down side of coming from small families.

Answered!!! 6/19!  Thank you Jesus for friends who stepped in to help with this!

Then there is the hurdle of finances for

all of the legal costs...  yeah, enough said.

But at the end of the race? 
There's a little boy, about to give up hope that anyone would ever want him, love him, call him their own.  That in our eyes, is worth the risk, worth the journey, worth the tears and frustration along the way.  Because God's heart is for us to love and care for the orphans, and that's just what we desire to do.

Break our hearts God,
for what breaks yours.
Show us what WE are
to do with your words.
Remove any hurdle that is
 standing between us
and the path you have for us,
and give us a spirit of
 courage as we walk this journey.


2 Timothy 1:7  God didn't give us a cowardly spirit but a spirit of power, love, and good judgment.

It all helps...

Today,  I spoke with our social worker from our new homestudy agency.  She is ready to get this show on the road!  What a blessing, because our old agency still hadn't contacted us!  So...  I contacted them this morning and politely and calmly told them that they were not the agency to help us.  Praise God, they decided to return our non-refundable money to us!  It all helps!

If you have fundraising suggestions, let me know... we need them!!!  Right now, the thoughts are
~ a garage sale in the fall,
~ another Party of Gold and Silver,
~ and a campaign to recycle old cell phones, computers, toner and ink jet cartridges.  (Let me know if you have any of these, the recycle money is small, but it all adds up!)

So what happens now?

Well, for the moment, we are living in "adoptionville."  So much of our life is centered around that right now.  It won't always be this way, and things should slow down, but this weekend we worked on...

Paperwork: 50+ pages of forms for our main adoption agency in Colorado. (who has handled adoptions from Kolfe in the past)  15+ pages of forms for our homestudy agency here in Arizona.  This is Agency and forms #2, since we will be firing our first homestudy agency.  Why?  Well, 2 weeks later, we still have not heard from them about the paperwork I hand delivered.  We have heard from our home agency that this is already a sign of trouble, because we will not be "waiting" for a child, like parents who choose to adopt infants and toddlers.  There is a real boy, sitting and waiting for us to finish our end of the process... so goodbye agency that is just taking our money and just sitting!!

Furniture:  Well, because of the cost involved with adopting, we are choosing to stay in the home we are currently in, and just find a few ways to make if fit our growing family better.  This means my homeschool room will have to go.  We now have an enormous cabinet by the front door.  Please hold your comments if you come over. :o)  Not all of the changes we will make will be pretty ones!  We also have a really cute 6 seater table for the kitchen.  (Yes, room to grow, if God has that in His plans.) More changes are coming, but that was what we accomplished this weekend.

Classes/books: John and I are working our way through a mound of on-line adoption classes and books.  So far, it has been both enjoyable and informative.  Saturday's classes backed up what I have been saying all along about our big boys.  Emnatu and Ayal, because of their life in an orphanage (since ages 2-3) may physically look 21/22 years old, but their real/emotional ages are closer to 15/16.  I have to say, realizing I wasn't crazy in thinking this, was a huge relief.  It accounts for a lot of the struggles we have (even this week) with Emnatu, in particular.  Being part of a loving, nurturing family helps the growth and development of children so much more than any of us realize.

Prayers, please?

Our family embarked on a new journey last week.  One that God has been steering us towards for over 2 years, but fear has been keeping us back from.  I love the advice a friend has been pumping into me the past few months...  things like, "You only need to ask God 'what is the very next step?' and listen hard without concern for the future"  and, "sometimes God goes so crazy against what makes sense to us so that He gets some mad glory"

She was right, John and I have discovered both of these things to be true in the past two years, so why were we holding back?  We know what God has called us to not only in the deepest part of our hearts, but here, in His word...

Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress and refusing to let the world corrupt you. ~ James 1:27

And anyone who welcomes a little child like this on my behalf is welcoming me. ~ Matthew 18:5

So, you see... our family of 6 is in the process of becoming a family of 7, with the addition of an 8-12 year old Ethiopian boy filling one of the beds upstairs.  (yes, paper adoption, this time)

We discovered this week, that if we lived in Ethiopia, this process would take a month, and cost roughly $17.  Well, sadly we don't, so this journey we just embarked on, will take 2353 times as much $ to pay for all of the travel and legal fees, (homeschool mom, giving you some math) and could take 18 times as long to get bring our son home. 

Yeah, we will need some financial help, and prayers for patience... but we are excited to watch the craziness that is our family, turn into mad glory for the One we are supposed to be living for anyway!!!  God is good, and we know He has awesome things in store for us.

No need to pack a bag... you are already there!

My life has become a balancing act. God had directed our paths, (mine predominantly) to be torn in two. Loving the life He has given me with a fabulous husband and two wonderful kids here.... and yet, a yearning to be with kids who haven't been blessed with this life, in a country that looks and feels so much different from the "American Dream".

I don't know why me, I don't know why us, why Ethiopia... but, I had an "interesting" discussion on Sunday with a woman who got frustrated when I referred to her future "missions trip" as a "family trip." (she was going with a family member)

I later asked for her forgiveness, all the while, trying to get my heart to ignore her repeated comments about how E/A aren't our sons, but rather our "sponsor kids". (grrr...sometimes there just isn't enough time to explain the complex nature of our family, but I tried not to shout, my repeated answer of "NO" to her.)   Here's the point I tried to express.   I don't need an award, I am not "holier than thou". (trust me).. and neither did/is she.

WE ALL SHOULD BE ON A MISSION TRIP. Yours may not require a 9,000 + mile flight, but you should be on a mission trip none-the-less.

Going to grocery store? Enjoy your mission trip! How is God wanting to use you to encourage the cashier to know Him? 

Eating at a restaurant? Enjoy your mission trip! What type of tip do you leave? Do you complain and make a pest of yourself, or is the service staff glad you came?? What experience with Jesus do they have while you are there?

The list goes on and on... but sometimes I call these trips I take "mission trips", and most of the time I just call them "trips"... because sharing the gospel isn't something that should be done exclusively on these trips. (nor is it... God is working on me!!!) 

Yes, I need help getting there, and I will talk about that in a later post (this one took a big detour) but "How's your mission trip going?"  Or have you forgotten you are ON one??

If you have a personal relationship with JESUS CHRIST.  If you have confessed your sins, and claim Him as your Lord and Savior....  There's no need to pack...  you ARE on a mission trip, right where He has you!

Get to work, share the joy, the hope, the forgiveness... that comes from knowing HIM.

~Tamara

God knew, it was no surprise to Him.

Well, those of you who know me well,

know that John really desired for me to

travel with someone.

I have done this enough times now to know that

God is full of surprises.

He works it all out, and wows me each time.

This time was no different.

The first day, Jen was ready and waiting,
at the guest house with the day cleared for fun!

Try as I might, I couldn't find a travel partner.

But I knew I was being called, again.

Long story... even for a blog...

but a missionary family from Kenya,

traveling to Ethiopia and Kolfe,

caused me to switch guest houses.

I switched to the one where Jen, a woman on my

facebook, had already been staying for a month. 

We had never spoken, never messaged,

never emailed, until I began making

plans to rent the room next door to her for 12 days.

Sweet blessings: Jen and Tammy (from my flights)

Neither of us knew how we would get along,

but by the time I traveled, 3 weeks later,

she had already let

Embracing Hope Ethiopia's Day Care

(where she had been volunteering each day)

know that she would likely be taking some

time off to spend with me and my boys.

She ended up taking the ENTIRE time off.

We got along so, so, so well!

I knew going in that she was in need

of some local Ethiopian friends,

God used my friendships to

become her friendships.

She needed some encouragement

and a vision for her future in Ethiopia,

God provided, he encouraged, he planned,

and He used us to help do that in her life.

Jen needed a camera,

but didn't have the money to buy one,

God used us to provide for her in this area too.

John suggested I give her ours.  That worked out great.

I used it for the trip, and then left it for her as I left.

She also loved our boys, and very quickly declared

them her "little brothers."

Last week, she took them out to dinner.

I miss our sons like crazy, so hearing about

them from Jen helps me so much.

Seriously, could he be any more precious??

Jen met my sweet little  foot boy, Abraham.

Click on those words above, to see a blurb

 about him from the "Blinders" post.

She fell in love with him, too.

And eventually, like all toddlers...

I learned to share...

ha!

Jen has been back to visit Abraham since I left.

I love the thought of him getting some hugs.

What a precious kid!

God wowed me with the surprise of Jennifer.

I didn't need a travel buddy.

(Although he had some divine appointments

 waiting for me on the flights anyway.)

He knew Jen would be waiting

at the guest house for me,

and he knew what a treasure

and blessing that would be.

Jen is a great reminder

that God's plans

are so much better

than our own,

Amen?

I love that God always has my

 trips covered... in HIS love.